When You're Good to Mama

The bar was quite busy, Kurogane noticed as he was waiting for Fai to return with their drinks. He still, though, could not for the life of him figure out why the hell so many people would come to a ‘karaoke bar’. So far all he had seen was a bunch of drunks making a fool of themselves on stage. It seemed Fai would fit right in.

“I’m back, Kuro-myu!” the blond exclaimed when he returned, slamming the drinks on the table.

“Finally,” Kurogane muttered as he picked up his bottle and took a long drink from it. “I’m going to need more than a few of these to make it though the night,” he groaned, mostly to himself.

“What was that, Kuro-pon?” Fai asked, settling down in his seat across the table from said ninja.

“Nothing.” He took another swallow of his drink.

The music paused as one song ended and another was being set up. In the somewhat quiet moment, Fai spoke up.

“So, Kuro-sama, are you going to sing a song?” he asked, a sly smile on his face.

“Like hell.”

“Aw, come on, Kuro-pyon!” Fai whined. “That’s what karaoke bars are for! And I’m sure Kuro-puu has an amazing singing voice.”

“And what the hell makes you think that?” Kurogane growled, finishing off his first drink of the night.

“Oh, I’ve heard Kuro-rin singing in the shower many times before!” Fai giggled happily. “And he does sing very well.”

Kurogane blushed. Or maybe it was the way the strange lights were reflecting off his face. Sure, he’d stick with that. “Why the hell were you listening to me in the shower?!”

“That doesn’t matter right now!” Fai stood excitedly. “Kuro-chu is a great singer so I’m going to sign him up to sing a song!”

As Fai made his way toward the sign-ups, Kurogane grabbed his arm. Mustering up his best death glare, he growled into the blond’s ear, “You do and you die a very, very painful death.”

“Wah~! Kuro-mi’s scary!” he whined as he dropped into Kurogane’s lap.

“What the hell!” The ninja pushed the other man off and onto the ground. “Not in public,” he whispered sharply.

“Fine,” Fai crossed his arms over his chest while still sitting on the floor. “And if you won’t sing, then I will.” The mage stood and crossed the dark bar to the sign-ups.

A few minutes passed and Fai returned to their small table. “Three more songs and then I’m up!”

“God save us all,” Kurogane mumbled to himself.

The first two songs passed quickly and all the while Kurogane found himself questioning what song Fai had chosen. Knowing the mage as he did, he of course, feared the worst. As the third song came to an end, Fai made his way up to the stage with a quick “Wish me luck, Kuro-koi” and a sly kiss to the larger man’s cheek. Kurogane blushed (it was the lights, damnit!) and swatted the blond away.

The song started and Kurogane groaned.

Ask any of the chickies in my pen

They’ll tell you I’m the biggest mother hen

I love ’em all and all of them love me

Because the system works

The system called reciprocity...

Got a little motto

Always sees me through

When you’re good to mama

Mama’s good to you.

There's a lot of favors

I'm prepared to do

You do one for Mama

She'll do one for you.

Kurogane silently thanked the gods that the kids weren’t there to see their ‘mommy’ singing like that, dancing like that…

They say that life is tit for tat

And that's the way I live

So, I deserve a lot of tat

For what I've got to give

Don't you know that this hand

Washes that one too

When you're good to Mama

Mama's good to you!

If you want my gravy

Pepper my ragout

Spice it up for Mama

She'll get hot for you

Men shouldn’t be able to dance that way, Kurogane decided. He felt strangely jealous of that man with the long black hair in the front row of tables that Fai seemed to be looking at.

When they pass that basket

Folk contribute to

You put in for Mama

She'll put out for you

The folks atop the ladder

Are the ones the world adores

So boost me up my ladder, Kid

And I'll boost you up yours

Let's all stroke together

Like the Princeton crew

When you're strokin' Mama

Mama's strokin' you

A thrust of the hips and a suggestive wink in Kurogane’s direction brought on a blush that the ninja could not deny. There was no way he was ever letting Fai do this again. At least not in public.

So what's the one conclusion

I can bring this number to?

When you're good to Mama

Mama's good to you!

The song wound down and the crowd cheered. It wasn’t long before Fai had made his way back to the table and jumped back into his seat. 

“Was I good, Kuro-sama?!” he asked excitedly, leaning close to Kurogane across the table. 

“We’re going home. Now.” 

“How come, Kuro-chi?” Fai pouted, confused. 

“It’s your choice. Home or the bathroom. Either way, we’re going now.” Kurogane stood and Fai followed. 

“Oh, I see,” the blond smiled suggestively. “Then let’s go home. Those bathroom stalls are really uncomfortable.”

“Alright then.” Kurogane led Fai toward the exit. Perhaps they would make another trip to this place before they moved onto the next world.